Musings on Cleaning

For those of you who have been there, done that or are currently doing that, I have a question to pose:

I spent my morning cleaning. I mean really cleaning. Bathrooms, kitchen, vaccuum, beds, laundry and even washed my floors. Yes, even the litter box was a pristine little clay sand pile. When I left to go volunteer at Abby's school, my house was beautiful. Or really, as good as it gets.

Within 3 minutes of my family coming in the door, there were:

Leaves wafting across my floor
Paw prints in the entry room
Backpacks, coats, a sweatshirt and shoes strewn everywhere.
A laundry basket filled with the day's clothes.

"David, what the hell?!? Did you even notice it was clean when you walked in?? Please tell me you saw that it was perfectly clean!"

"Um.... I was distracted. The cat just pooped in the litter box and it smells."

All that work, and in the 15 seconds it was visible, the whole thing was negated because the cat chose that moment to poop.

So, for those of you who have or have had pets and children and husbands and a fleetingly clean home, does the memory of the spotlessness sustain you, or is there knee-jerk reaction to frantically clean it again just to enjoy it??

Blogging and the Running Commentary

I know a lot of people that get a lot of comments on their blogs. Alas, I'm not one of those people. Not that I don't like comments, I do. I like them very, very much. I just don't get them very often. Kind of like shoes, but anyhoo......

The people who read my blog don't comment, they call. They call me or text me or tell me in person what they thought of my latest posts. (Apparantly I don' t have a big international audience!)

These are some of the latest comments about my blog posts:

• I like the ones about the kids the best. I don't care about you. (thanks, kathy!)
• Put more pictures up. You write too much.
• I like the funny posts.
• Lately you're not funny. You're really bitchy.
• You sound bitchy. How's the not smoking going?
• You're so funny! I love it when you post after taking your ambien!
• Ohmigod! You drunk-blogged again!! That was so funny! Do it again!
• You're so funny. I love your blog.

It's my blog. MINE. Allllllllllll Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnneeee. And Mom says its okay to be bitchy if you've had a rough day, so there!

Bwaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Congratulations!!! Here's Your Bill and Your Low Self-Esteem

There are so many wonderful things that happen in the fall. :::queue the whimsicle music:::

Things I love:
Today, Evie and I found a teeny tiny crayfish, and a MONSTROUS crayfish right after that.
Things I hate:
I tried to pick up the big one and discovered that, no, I still haven't overcome the fear of a lobster pinch, no matter how small the lobster.

Things I love:
That Abby tried out for the premier soccer team and made it!!
Things I hate:
The bill that came with that.

Things I love:
That Abby's Orthdontist is so wicked cool, and he honestly believes she'll need the palate expander for the next year, then have three years off totally, then braces for only 6 months after that.
Things I hate:
The bill that came with that.

Things I love:
Getting uncharacteristically plastered and then blogging.
Things I hate:
The bill that comes with that one too, though it technically isn't monetary, but emotional.

Things I love:
Evie passed her school evaluation like the little genius she is
Things I hate:
The certain knowledge that I may be screwed by this later on in life.

For those of you waiting for the humourous interlude........ I bought a pair of shoes!!!! Way cool little black boots to go with the one pair of nice jeans I have left in my closet. Of course when I went to go out with friends last night, I realized that my one pair of nice jeans is missing. And the boots look stupid with any other pair of jeans. And all the other pairs of jeans looked stupid, too. And I looked stupid in them. So I put on the stupid pair of jeans, and had to wear my same old stupid UGG boots, which looked really stupid because the stupid jeans are bootcut, not skinny. But that's okay, I'll just keep my feet under the table, right? Top up I'll look okay, right? No, cuz my nice fall jacket is missing too. So all I had was my old sweatshirt-jacket. And, yes, you guessed it, it looked stupid.

Actually, as I described it to Jayne while driving (an hour late) to meet with friends, "I look like a fat lumberjack. A stupid, fat, lumberjack."

But my kids are crazy-ass talented and smart, so we're all good. :)