Chey's

Musings on Cleaning

2009-11-06T21:19:00.002-05:00

For those of you who have been there, done that or are currently doing that, I have a question to pose:

I spent my morning cleaning. I mean really cleaning. Bathrooms, kitchen, vaccuum, beds, laundry and even washed my floors. Yes, even the litter box was a pristine little clay sand pile. When I left to go volunteer at Abby's school, my house was beautiful. Or really, as good as it gets.

Within 3 minutes of my family coming in the door, there were:

Leaves wafting across my floor
Paw prints in the entry room
Backpacks, coats, a sweatshirt and shoes strewn everywhere.
A laundry basket filled with the day's clothes.

"David, what the hell?!? Did you even notice it was clean when you walked in?? Please tell me you saw that it was perfectly clean!"

"Um.... I was distracted. The cat just pooped in the litter box and it smells."

All that work, and in the 15 seconds it was visible, the whole thing was negated because the cat chose that moment to poop.

So, for those of you who have or have had pets and children and husbands and a fleetingly clean home, does the memory of the spotlessness sustain you, or is there knee-jerk reaction to frantically clean it again just to enjoy it??

Blogging and the Running Commentary

2009-10-24T20:05:00.002-04:00

I know a lot of people that get a lot of comments on their blogs. Alas, I'm not one of those people. Not that I don't like comments, I do. I like them very, very much. I just don't get them very often. Kind of like shoes, but anyhoo......

The people who read my blog don't comment, they call. They call me or text me or tell me in person what they thought of my latest posts. (Apparantly I don' t have a big international audience!)

These are some of the latest comments about my blog posts:

I like the ones about the kids the best. I don't care about you. (thanks, kathy!)
Put more pictures up. You write too much.
I like the funny posts.
Lately you're not funny. You're really bitchy.
You sound bitchy. How's the not smoking going?
You're so funny! I love it when you post after taking your ambien!
Ohmigod! You drunk-blogged again!! That was so funny! Do it again!
You're so funny. I love your blog.

It's my blog. MINE. Allllllllllll Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnneeee. And Mom says its okay to be bitchy if you've had a rough day, so there!

Bwaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Congratulations!!! Here's Your Bill and Your Low Self-Esteem

2009-10-22T14:13:00.005-04:00

There are so many wonderful things that happen in the fall. :::queue the whimsicle music:::

Things I love:
Today, Evie and I found a teeny tiny crayfish, and a MONSTROUS crayfish right after that.
Things I hate:
I tried to pick up the big one and discovered that, no, I still haven't overcome the fear of a lobster pinch, no matter how small the lobster.

Things I love:
That Abby tried out for the premier soccer team and made it!!
Things I hate:
The bill that came with that.

Things I love:
That Abby's Orthdontist is so wicked cool, and he honestly believes she'll need the palate expander for the next year, then have three years off totally, then braces for only 6 months after that.
Things I hate:
The bill that came with that.

Things I love:
Getting uncharacteristically plastered and then blogging.
Things I hate:
The bill that comes with that one too, though it technically isn't monetary, but emotional.

Things I love:
Evie passed her school evaluation like the little genius she is
Things I hate:
The certain knowledge that I may be screwed by this later on in life.

For those of you waiting for the humourous interlude........ I bought a pair of shoes!!!! Way cool little black boots to go with the one pair of nice jeans I have left in my closet. Of course when I went to go out with friends last night, I realized that my one pair of nice jeans is missing. And the boots look stupid with any other pair of jeans. And all the other pairs of jeans looked stupid, too. And I looked stupid in them. So I put on the stupid pair of jeans, and had to wear my same old stupid UGG boots, which looked really stupid because the stupid jeans are bootcut, not skinny. But that's okay, I'll just keep my feet under the table, right? Top up I'll look okay, right? No, cuz my nice fall jacket is missing too. So all I had was my old sweatshirt-jacket. And, yes, you guessed it, it looked stupid.

Actually, as I described it to Jayne while driving (an hour late) to meet with friends, "I look like a fat lumberjack. A stupid, fat, lumberjack."

But my kids are crazy-ass talented and smart, so we're all good. :)

Costume Shopping Aint What it Used to Be

2009-10-15T14:10:00.002-04:00

"I want to be a Pirate," says Abby.
"I want to be a Doctor," says Evie.

Okay. So off to the Costume store we go for our Halloween extravaganza shopping spree.

"Now you've each chosen what you want to be. Find that costume in the right size, then accessories. No changing it up 20,000 times, okay? You. Have. Decided."
"Uh-huh. Okay, Mom."

I imagined going in, finding a pirate costume and a doctor costume, finding the right size, heading off to the accessories to get swords and stethiscopes and glowy neclaces and bracelets and then we'd be done.

This is how it actually went down.

Abby:
"I like THAT Pirate costume"
"Um, Ab, that's for a 23 year old hooker. I don't think so."

Evie:
"Mommy, I want to be the fairy"
"Evie, that's a $100 costume, and you have 7 fairy dresses at home you can use if you want to be a fairy. We can wear one of those."

We left with what I still consider to be a slightly too-short pirate costume for a CHILD and a multi-accessorized fairy costume.

I cannot win.

I Worry Too Much

2009-10-08T12:55:00.002-04:00

And complain too much, but there are worse things.

I was working on an assigment from a client, upstairs at my mom's house. Evie and Grandma are downstairs playing a rousing game of Don't Break the Ice. It's very quiet down there.

Evie comes to the bottom of the stairs and calls up to me,
"Mommy! Gramma not working! We gotta problem!"

My first thought is.
Ohmigod... is mom dead? Did she die right there playing Don't Break the Ice and Evie has been trying to wake her up while I was working upstairs?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?

Don't worry, all was well. They had finished thier game and my mom was trying to work the TV to get a toon on for Evie. And aparantly not doing it right.

Jayne says, "C'mon!! Everyone Who Matters LOVES You!"

2009-10-07T12:01:00.003-04:00

I was sitting next another soccer mom at a recent event. While we're not drinking buddies or anything, it certainly isn't the first time we've chatted. She has an exiciting and pretty darn amazing career and I like hearing her stories about it.

In conversation about an upcoming weekend game, I mentioned,
"I'll proably take off for a while during the break in games. I've got to work."
She looked me blankly.
"Stalls?"
"Uh, no."
"Oh, I thought you cleaned stalls or worked at a barn for a living."

Now without going into the rest of the conversation, in which I actually explained what I do for living in addition to be a staying at home mom, the actual crux of the problem is this:

It occurs to me that in all this time, this person never asked me what I do for a living, or even wondered. Multiple college degrees, professional designations, executive awards and published works, and none of it ever discussed? C'mon, I know I talk a lot. At some point, I must've mentioned one of the above in a conversation.

This leads me to a couple of possible conclusions:

1. This person heard "Barn, Horses, Stalls" and deemed me uneducated enough to not ever listen past that.
2. This person just never considered me interesting enough to care in the first place.

Which leads me to two more possible conclusions about those conclusions:

1. I either got judged by my personality or by what they assumed I did for a living.
2. I'm adooooorable! So it must be the barn thing.

HA!

Abby for the WIN

2009-10-04T17:30:00.003-04:00

The day can't pass without celebrating Abby's amazing soccer game and a wonderful win for the team. Everyone was happy, cheerful, supportive and downright LOUD in their pride and admiration for all the kids on the team. Hell, I even cheered for the other team when they got a hard-earned goal. They worked for it, so why not?

Evie was a trooper for the whole game, which was under a blindingly hot Indian Summer Sun. We were all sweating and possibly melting, but the flush of victory kept us in our seats. :)

David Julie did a great job coaching and I'm just so happy to have been there for the win.

Now I have to finish working, pay my mom's bills and get the kids ready for bed.

Tomorrow is Daffodil Planting Day at Abby's school, which I volunteered for, so that should make for an interesting next post.

Random Thoughts on Tequila

2009-10-01T23:45:00.004-04:00

After having a massive margarita or (2) my first in a very, very long time, I have some random Thoughts On Tequila:

1. I have some truly remarkable people who support me.

Not that they have a choice. Some of them are related to me, but still, I appreciate the effort involved. Eventually you know I've gotcher back.

2. My kids are awesome.

I think I'm making an absolute disaster of their lives and they still love me. I ask them to be better than me... stronger, smarter, faster. Bionic frikken kids, and they try. I pray (and I'm not a praying type of gal) that they'll not fall victim to my own faults and insecurities. Some of the traits are inherited, some are learned, and I really want better for them than I had. There are a few people out there who think my kids aren't awesome. Well, really? Take a good peek at your own. Then get over it.

3. Every parent wants what is best for their own child.

If our child is really lucky, it's what's best for them, too.

4. The best parents are the ones who want what's best for all children, not just their own.

They raise the kind of kids we are all proud of. The kind of kids we wish we were. The kind of kids we hope we can raise. The kind of parents we hope we can be. We almost always fail in comparison. I've watched as others this parent down ever so quiety so as not to raise a commontion. and leave the minimum of tears.

5. If we really knew the other person, we might not say such bad things.

It's easy to talk crap about a person you don't really know. Once you get to know them then you tend to see things from their point of view more easily. This is an important fact, and is directly involved with points 2. and 3. and 4. If you're only inviting the same group that worships you continually, are you REALY getting the whole story, here?

6. Outsides might change, insides are slow to follow.

Right here was a whole lot of stuff that I typed but ended up deleting. Too much Tequila can be bad for us even if it makes us say things we really mean and need to say.

7. Lucky Seven. What would be the really, truly honest thing to say?

Here goes..............................

I deleted it all. HA!

I'm Running out of Shoes

2009-09-24T14:03:00.003-04:00

My closet is growing dustbunnies. There are just too few shoes taking up that valuable floor space to inhibit the growth of dustbunnies. Empty. Bereft. That's my closet. Though my outfits have long past the stage of true fashionable interchangability and I'm down to a just a few choice outfits for the rare occasions that I need to look decent, thats still no reason for a girl to not have a big shoe choice.

So where have my shoes gone?

They're all over, strewn somewhere on the roads and in the roadside woods along the way from the barn in Columbia to my home a few towns away.

Why are my shoes in roadside ditches?

Because I go to the barn, exit my truck. Lean against the bumper of my truck, take off my shoes, put on my riding boots, then ride, come back and get in my truck to go home.

Did I forget anything?

You betcha. I left my shoes on the bumper of my truck. Sometimes one shoe will actually manage to cling to the bumper to be found when I pull into my driveway and get out and see it.

Today I lost one sneaker. My closet is gonna be really pissed off. But the dust bunnies will be happy.

My closet now consists of:

A fierce pair of 5 inch heels
A pair of flip flops
A pair of UGGS
A pair of Hooker Boots that I bought for a Halloween party a few years ago

No, honestly, that's all I have left for shoes in my closet. What the hell do I wear to the PTO meetings?

My Almost 9 Year Old is a Hormonal Mess

2009-09-21T20:30:00.002-04:00

The mood swings, the tantrums, the screaming, the hugs 2 seconds later like nothing ever happend. If its this bad now, at almost 9, what the HELL am I going to do when she hits 13?

No, honestly, someone needs to tell me what I'm going to do here. Abby is like my best friend, but I might consider boarding school if this keeps up.

My Kid is Trying to Kill Me

2009-09-16T16:43:00.003-04:00

We have an attic over our house, the kind with the pull down wodden stairs that, when folded, go flush with the ceiling. Attics suck, but its better than no storage space at all.
Well, over the weekend as I was turning Evie's baby room into Evie's Big Girl room, I had to go up to the attic to retrieve Abby's old bed guard. You know, the mesh guard that keeps little kids from falling out of big beds in the middle of the night.

So I'm in the attic, about to climb back down with my safety-thing. I take a quick peek down the attic stairs/ladder to the hallway to remind myself that its a long fall off of rickety wood stairs to a tile floor. Evie was standing in the hallway looking up at me and smiling. I smiled back and turned. My foot was hovering around the third rung when a warning bell went off in my brain.

what was she holding that was shiny??
I brought my foot back up and sat on the floor of the attic, looking down.

"Evie, what are holding?"
"This, Mommy," she giggled.

Evie then holds up a metal bracket in one hand, and a fistful of nuts and bolts in the other.

My kid had dismantled the bottom 4 rungs of the stairs/ladder. It was holding on by the one remaining bracket with no nuts or bolts at all. I think she's trying to kill me.

And yes, I had to jump.

2009-09-12T21:24:00.003-04:00

Real girls play soccer, even in the rain.

And they look pretty darn cool doing it.

Our day today was mostly spent at Soccer fields, with a little bit of shopping thrown in for measure at the end of the day.

Tonight will be the last night that Evie spends in her crib. Tomorrow afternoon we'll be setting up her "Big girl bed" and redecorating. As usual, she has picked out a Butterfly theme for just about everything. The only big exception was that she chose the massive fuzzy-soft pink blanket over the not-so-soft butterfly comforter.

I'm a little sad that our home will finally be void of a baby crib. Even after Abby had outgrown it, we still kept it in the spare room because we knew that eventually we would have another baby occupying it. Tomorrow it will be dismantled and put in the attic, maybe for a grandchild many, many, many years from now.

Show Me

2009-09-11T19:18:00.001-04:00

Hold onto me, and I'll show you the world.

Sigh. My girls.

Evie Turns The Big 0-3!!

2009-09-04T20:34:00.000-04:00

The day was not-too sunny, not-too cloudy and just-enough warm. Perfect for a pool party Birthday! All our friends came and the little ones brought their swimmies and floaties. Evie, of course, brought none of those things. She brings older cousins who cater to her, carry her, float with her in the pool and otherwise meet every needs.

Yes, Mariah. I mean you.

See? Evie's personal floatation device!

Can you even get over how cute this cake is? Not only cute but c'mon, a caterpiller? I LOVE caterpillers!

And you should have seen how many ears perked up when I asked "Who wants grass??"

Hmm, yeah. I was talking cake. Who wants the grass pieces of the cake. Makes me question the quality of the invite list!

The theme of the party was Butterflies and Flowers. Though I seem to have NOT gotten pictures of the balloons ::smacking self::: they really were everywhere. Evie chose the theme and all the goods that went with it, including handpicked butterfly balloons and tableware, right down to telling the baker how many butterflies, how many bees and how many caterpillers should be on the cake. It took forever, but she was proud and confident in her choices.

We chose the perfect flower pinata.

We did not purchase the flower pinata. Why did we not purchase the flower pinata that we spent a half hour choosing? Because we saw this on the way out of the store.

And this is what it became:

We loved having our wonderful friends over to celebrate out big, big, big girl's 3rd Birthday.

editors note: the big big big part was demanded in the rewrite to coincide with the new household policy of "I not a baby. I a Big, Big, Big girl." followed by a firm statement that she had to pee, and that Mommy should wait outside the bathroom door for her.

Personal Kryptonite

2009-09-03T19:58:00.000-04:00

Everyone has their own personal form of kryptonite. Mine is cilantro. Yes, you read that correctly. I have the unfortunate ability to taste cilantro in the very air if it's in the room and it is the most vile thing in the world. My stomach turns, I break into a sweat, I get all weak and then I have to go dive into something chocolate to forget the horror of it all. I'm not kidding. My friend Vicki makes a to-die-for Hawaiin salsa that I can't get enough of. I thought she was so sweet to make me my own bowl of it, then I found out that the main recipie had cilantro in it... and she's such a great friend that she took out my portion before she added cilantro to the main batch.

I luf her.

Abby's kryptonite is broccoli. David was foolish enough to demand that she try a large piece of it while at a restaurant with other family members. Apparantly the gag reflex is genetic. She lost the broccoli and most of her dinner on the floor immediately.

Evie's kryptonite is her rocking horse. The 70's version that is suspended by the Springs-Of-Death. No one, and I mean no one, is getting on that horse if Evie is around. If you try, she comes at you like.... well, like a 29 pound linebacker with a voice matching the pitch and octave of a smoke alarm.

We all have our limits.

Momentous Occassions

2009-09-02T19:12:00.009-04:00

Some big things happened in the past month. Let's recap in chronological order:

1. Abby showed in the 4-H fair.

Even though she was by far the youngest, she still managed to beat the pants off a few kids in every class. Jeepers acquitted himself in his own style. He was so bad in Abby's jumping class that by the time she finally got him to a fence and got him over it, the entire crowd burst into spontaneous cheers. The judge was laughing so hard so hard she had tears in her eyes. Anyway.... I think that was what the tears were from. It might have been horror, I'm not sure.

2. Abby and Jeepers won this years Costume Contest at the fair.

They were Dorothy and Toto from The Wizard of Oz. Abby was Toto. Jeepers was Dorothy.

See how thats funny? The little bastard can buck me off, but I can make him wear a dress, a wig and red sparkly slippers. Of course the joke may be on me, because he seems to enjoy dressing in drag.

3. Evie turned the big 0-3!!

We sent out invitations for the pool party, but this being New England, land of It-Will-Rain-On-Your-Birthday, we put an addendum on her invite that specified Rain or Shine, and just in case people didn't get it in text form, I put Evie in front of the pool in her bathing suit and snorkel while wearing rain boots and holding an umbrella.

Invites with precautions for the illiterate or the very rushed, totally my style.

The party was so much fun, and we had so many of our very favorite people there that it deserves a post of it's own, which will be coming forthwith. ;)

4. Abby started 3rd grade. I remember a few years ago, taking that first "First Day of School" picture. Abby was so little and cute. Now she's all "What-eveh" and has her hair done just so and, did I mention, she got her ears pierced??? Mmm-yeah. 3rd grade. She's gotta wait on the tat though. Like, 30 more years or so.

5. Evie had her Pre-School Orientation. She's very excited because her friend Jayda is in her class. Her pre-school looks amazing and I can't wait to have her really be a part of it. I'm excited to see how she does and how much she learns.

No pictures of it yet, though, cuz I'm waiting until her first day to take official pictures.
But since she's so darn cute, here is a Random Cuteness photo:

"Hey, Tarzan. Yeah. Get me a sippy-cuppa juice, pronto."

Checkbooks and Horseshows Go Hand and Hoof

2009-06-09T20:42:00.005-04:00

"Abby, that costs a lot of money."

"What's the big deal? Just whip out the checkbook and write the number down and give it to them. Wa-La!"

"Um, honey, you do understand that you need to have money in the bank to write a check, right?"

"Dude, I just know how to fill the check in."

Oh yes, that's my girl.

Now onto today's VIDEO portion of our blog. Abby's first, official, by-God-she-did-it-herself WALK/TROT horseshow! Now, for all of our not-so-regular readers, I'll give you a hint on how to find Abby in this video. She's the only kid on a pony. Apparently, all the other kids' parents took the "Horse" in "Horse-Show" to heart and bought their kids a big ol' horse. Finding Abby is kind of like playing Where's Waldo, but in reverse.

Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to my friend Ellen for helping us out at the show all day. I'm sure you had better things to do on a Sunday, but know that your sacrifice to the Equine Gods was truly appreciated.

Blizzard of the Blue Moon Movie Preview

2009-05-19T14:49:00.002-04:00

This is Abby's School Video Project. She wanted to do a Movie Trailer for the book, "Blizzard of the Blue Moon" which is a Magic Treehouse Book by Mary Pope Osborne. Alas, I suck as an editor, but it's the best I can manage. Until Abby starts working with real director, she'll have to make do.

Thank You to our friend, Walker, for co-staring in the video. And thanks to Evie for wearing the beard made out of shredded Charmin, and to the pony for wearing a unicorn horn made out of paper duct taped to his halter.

Dear Blog Gods

2009-05-15T19:59:00.003-04:00

Dear Internet Blog Gods,

It has been many weeks since my last blog post. I admit that much of the blame lies with me, but I would like to note that other things have gotten in the way as well.

For instance:

1. The fucking Vundo virus that still infects my PC
2. My inability to type well on David's laptop (get your minds out of the gutter)
3. Soccer
4. Softball
5. Brownies (the giggling type, not the gooey chocolate kind)
6. The cleaning of the barn (Jeepers, if only you knew the work involved in loving you)
7. My mom (Wonderful, sainted lady... how did you raise 5 children?)
8. Playgroup (I made a Bumblebee today, thank you very much)
9. My job (An article that I wrote was referenced in a NY Times post...cool)
10. Meals (Could my kids just eat cereal in the morning like everyone else? And what the fuck is so wrong with frozen pancakes? Do you NEED everything to made, from scratch, at 6:45 in the morning? And even if you didn't, aren't from-scratch french toast good enough? Did you NEED it to be served with balled cantalope and sausage.... and warmed syrup?)
11. David (No, not really, but a list doesn't feel right without him in it)

In conclusion, blog gods, I admit that I have pictures to back up my new stories about how Miss. B tried to kill me, again, among other things. I'll get to them.

Antivirus and No Joy in Mudville

2009-04-01T20:31:00.005-04:00

I have been visited and royally screwed by a computer virus.

No, no, not that annoying little thing that has been on the news.

My beloved PC has been totally F*&&*(#ed up by a Vundo virus.

Omigosh, don't you have anti-virus protection.

Yes. I do.

Didn't it detect the virus?

Yes, it sure did. After my computer already got it.

Didn't your antivirus software kill the virus?

I'm glad you asked. Norton AV tried to kill the virus. Then it just said it couldn't. Have a nice frikken day.

Did you run Norton AV's Vundofix.exe?
Yeah. It said I didn't have vundo. Even though regular Norton AV says I do.

Did you call Norton's help desk?
That's an affirmative. "Bob" from Bangalore told me they'd be happy to help, if I could just give them my credit card so that they could bill me for assistance in getting rid of something their product was suppossed to protect me from in the first place.

Did you run Malwarebytes?
You bet. In safe mode. With process explorer halting have the processes to be sure it wiped the virus out.

I have spent 8 flippin days and nights trying to fix my computer. This weekend I have to perform the equivalent of surgery on it. Without benefit of an education or residency.

So my question is this......... why do these jackass programmers send these viruses out?

They aren't taking down THE MAN. They aren't dirupting CORPORATE AMERICA. They're simply destroying the livelyhood of everyday shmoes like me trying to pay bills, get the kids to soccer and put a meal on the table.

I bet that if they caught some of these hackers and left them alone in a room full of soccermoms with baseball bats and no internet connection, there'd be a lot less need for AntiVirus software.

Alas, my posts are from an "alternate location" for now.

Did I mention that I quit smoking 11 days ago and that I'm REALLY GRUMPY!??

The Factory Needs Capital for Kisses

2009-03-24T07:53:00.003-04:00

This is a typical converstation between me and my oldest daughter:

"I love you, Abby."

Sigh. "I'm busy, Mom."

"Too busy to say I love you?"

"Yup."

"Well, then I'll be too busy later to get you dessert."
.........

"I love you, Mom."

Grumpy "No, no. Too late. Not good enough now."

"I'll give you a neck kiss later..."

"Okay, deal."

Later on that evening, around the time of expentant neck kisses...

"Mom, I've got good news and I've got bad news. Which do you
want first?"

"The bad news."

"The pipes broke at the KISS factory, and they can't afford to
fix them right now."

"Okay. What's the good news?"

"The good news is that they have some kisses in inventory, but
they're saving them. I can't give any out."

So here are my questions

Is my kid watching too much CNN?

or

Did my kid just roughly translate our entire recession in a KISS
analogy?

Parental Pride Post

2009-03-16T19:30:00.003-04:00

Okay, back to the parental pride post that I promised everyone...

Abby scored a 100% on her semester Math test!!!!!! Whoooo-hoooo!!!!!!!! This is a big test, with a lot of hard problems, and my brilliant baby ROCKED it!!

My other little Einstein-in-the-wings is working on her letters (she's only two, so that's just as big an accomplishment) and actually wrote two "A's" that I could recognize easily. She's also starting to recognize two different sight words when we're reading her books at night. My goal? Reading independently by 4.
Here's a picture of her A's.

Chuck Norris, You've Got a Phone Call

2009-03-11T19:45:00.006-04:00

I had a great post all set for tonight, detailing my BEAUTIFUL and INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT and TALENTED daughters' achievements today... but I read something that scared the crap out of me so much that I'm shelving my parental pride until tomorrow.

In an article on CNN.com today, Chuck Norris was a featured interview because he released a memo about just how much he'd like to be President... of Texas.

I may run for president of Texas,” Norris wrote Monday in a column posted at WorldNetDaily. “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

Well, my goodness. For the first time in YEARS, a particular Texan didn't get the President that he wanted so he's gonna stomp his feet and threaten to walk out on the party. A little childish, isn't it? Hmmmmm?

The actor claimed “thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation” and said that if states decide to secede from the union, that Texas would lead the way.

Um, Chuck? The phone's for you. It's Homeland Security. They wanna chat.

“Anyone who has been around Texas for any length of time knows exactly what we'd do if the going got rough in America,” Norris wrote. “Let there be no doubt about that.”

Funny, I know a lot of people from Texas, and I've never known any of them to turn tail and run when things don't go their way. Maybe you're living in a whole OTHER Texas, where people "know what they'll do" when things get rough.

Chuck, you may not like the President or the current State of the Union, however, while you're sleeping snug in your fortified desert fortress, take a minute to imagine what Dubbya would have done a couple of years ago if, say, Michael Moore talked about joining a "cell" group.

I'm juss sayin'.

Oh and by the way, thousands of groups did ban together, legally, and then they VOTED.

Help!!

2009-03-09T20:31:00.002-04:00

Psssssttt!!! Hello? Can you hear me?
***knocking on monitor screen***
I need your help! I'm trapped in Chey's kitchen! She doesn't know I'm there, but if I try to leave, she'll find me and that'll be it!
***furtive glance around corner***
There used to be dozens of us, but... but... oh, god, the horror....
***sniffle, sob, sob***
Please, help me! help me!! Oh shit, here she comes!!!!

Hey, has anyone seen the last few Tag-A-Long cookies?? I thought I left a couple in the cabinet......

The Trail of Tears

2009-03-03T07:03:00.004-05:00

*****EDIT******
I gave up and called our friend, Jeremy, to come and plow the rest of the driveway. Thank you, Jeremy, Thank you Plow.

The trail of tears. That's what I've nicknamed my driveway.

Over 300 feet of dirt, gravel and rock, with a pretty little "S" curve around a huge, majestic beech tree, it goes on and on until it finally reaches the road.

Pituresque, you say? Nice to have some privacy, you say?

Screw that.

With the untimely death of our snowblower 2 years ago due to complications of stupidity and inconsistant maintenance, we are on our own with 2 shovels.

After spending 8 weeks encased in solid ice, our driveway finally melted on Saturday and we had gravel again. On Sunday through to Monday, we were the proud recipients of 16" of more snow. That's over a foot. And it's heavy snow, too.

Winter is not yet done wringing the last bits of life out of my bones.

I spent 2 hours yesterday shoveling half the driveway. It was the most I could do before my back went out and I spent the night on muscle relaxants.
Today, tears welling in my eyes and my back spasming at the thought, I will have to go back out there for round 2.

My driveway. The trail of tears.

Good Morning, Dog Poop.