Thursday, August 4, 2011

Winning, with Special Appearance by the Spacemonkeys

Vacation has started!!  I haven’t had a real break from work in about 10 months.  That isn’t an exaggeration.  The last time I took a week off of work was September 2010.  I love the company I work for and the people I work with, I love my clients and the work that I do… but I am so ready for a little time off.  And its been pretty wonderful.

The strange thing is that I had a hard time logging off at the end of the final day at work, letting go of the stewardship of my job.  Seriously, if a person has that hard a time going on vacation, it means they REALLY need one!

My last conversation with a coworker before I left was about winning.  The exact comment was….

“I don’t know what winning is anymore.”

Since it was about 15 minutes before my vacation was about to start, I wisely said, “That will have to be a blog post after I think about it for a while.”

So my first four hours of vacation was dinner out with Eve, to the playscape, haircuts, and, after putting her to bed, a nice glass of wine.  Then, on to some thinking and research on Winning, since I’m not sure what it is anymore…
Since I first wrote some of this, we have been to the amusement park, the beach, swimming, the Vineyard and just generally relaxing and being us girls..... 

Now on with Winning:

Definition 1: Winning:

Gaining, resulting in, or relating to victory in a contest or competition

I’m not in competition with anyone other than myself.  So, seriously, am I always trying to beat me?  If so, no wonder I’m confused, you can’t win when you fight yourself.  But it does always make you better! 

Definition 2: Win:

 An individual victory; To conquer, defeat; To achieve victory in (a game, a war, etc);

I have no desire to conquer or defeat.  If you believe you’ve achieved such a thing, you’re foolish.  It’s just a temporary illusion.  No one wins in war and games are only games until they’ve played themselves out.  But the game, oh the game!!  Solving problems, managing projects that can't be managed, answering questions that have others cant...... I live for that!  Victory over a person, no thanks.  Not interested.

Definition 3: Win:

To obtain something that is wanted

I want a lot of things.  Happiness and health for my kids is the first thing I have ever wished for, the thing I want the most, but I can’t obtain it, or win it, only work towards it and hope for it.  There are things that I want for me, selfishly and adamantly, but they aren’t always the things that are best for the people that I love, so the things I want are pushed to the side.  But I pray that they find happiness and peace.

Definition 4: WIN (Wireless Intelligent Network)) Transaction processing infrastructure for wireless systems

Um, sure.
Definition 5:  Winning:  Waking up free, the William Wallace way.  FREEDOM!!!!

Yeah.  That I believe in.  If you've never felt that way, it's just a movie line.

So what is winning?  Is it making the people that I love happy? Maybe... but with all things important, the path to getting there is difficult.  Like a good friend says, “The sacrifices now will be worth it in the future.”

I hope I’m winning.    But I’m still not sure what it is, exactly. 

On some days I’m Superwoman, ruling the entire world around me.  On other days, I’m just a girl… 

 (insert Julia Roberts moment here)

*************************There are these amazing things that I call SpaceMonkeys.  They spin filters…. Not a lot of them and not very well, but they are occasionally effective.  So shout out and "Thank you, SpaceMonkeys," for the separation of interests this evening. 

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