Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Sally Struthers, please help my daughter!!!

Because apparently, she's telling her teachers at school that she's STARVING and needs to get breakfast in the cafeteria. Never mind the fact that she ate 2 slices of toast with cream cheese and 2 eggs, sunny side up, plus a whole glass of milk. She ate all of that 30 minutes before she got to school, but presumably she has the metabolism of a hummingbird and its all gone now.

Here's how I found out about the dumpster diving....
After finding our lunch account at her school looking anorexic, (ha!)I wanted to know where all the money went. Well, I guess my kid decided that she needed breakfast AND lunch at school. So instead of one payment a day coming out of the account, there were two payments a day coming out. That adds up. You'd think she would eat less at home, knowing she was about to lie her way into the breakfast line at school, right? (And I do mean LIE her way, because kids are supposed to either be in the Breakfast program, OR they have to bring in a note saying that they can get breakfast that day.) Nooooooooo, she's just eating what is now referred to as 1st breakfast, and then 2nd breakfast. Followed closely by Morning Snack, Lunch, the super stealthy Bus Snack on the way home, the After School Snack, then Dinner. And she is NOT a big kid. She's on the slimmer side of things. Has there been an epidemic of tapeworms or something?
Going to the cafeteria at school is a fun adventure with her friends. The flag of independence is waving high over the upturned cherubic face of my 1st grader, and she is taking her new found independence to new levels.

I called her teacher and explained that she is getting a full breakfast at home, and doesn't need to go get breakfast at school, even though it appears that its the 'fun' thing to do. That's when her teacher told me, "Abby said you didn't have time to give her breakfast, and that you kept forgetting to write a note to say that she could get breakfast at school."

WTF?!?!? So lemme understand this. According to my daughter, not only can I not get my fat ass out of bed in time to feed her, but I'm also an amnesiac loser who can't even remember to write a note so that my starving, abused baby can get to eat? Are you serious?!?!?

Well I straightened things out with her teacher, explaining that she DOES get a full breakfast in the morning, and if she by some chance needs a note, I am more than capable of remembering to write it.

Abby and I are having a chat when she gets home from school today. I may feed her to Sally.

btw, Balancing Act, your son's two lost blocks are looking pretty good right now, aren't they?

8 comments:

Snog Dot said...

At least there's no chance of starving to death. But she is a creative little thing, ain't she?

Balancing Act said...

Snog Dot - you have no idea how creative this little one is. As far as she is concerned she thinks that she is already married to Walker. Of course Walker just goes along with it. It must be her long brown hair and green eyes.

Sue (friend of balancing act) said...

So that's why Sally Struthers looks the way she does...
Ahh yes, I remember the first "really big" lie that I caught Grace in. Last year (also in first grade at the time), she informed her class that she was Jewish. Imagine my surprise when I learned that from another Mom. Grace is also constantly asking when she can get breakfast at school. Who knew it was the spot to see and be seen!! BTW - I've seen your daughter, where does the food go on her??? I look at an extra piece of anything and it goes on my hips! Good luck with your little conversation.

PS: Let us know where we can start sending donations so that you can buy some groceries - what is it as little as 77 cents a day right???

Cheysu said...

Ah yes, creativity. That's a good thing, right? :)

And, Jewish? I don't think I was ever creative enough to tell someone I switched religions.... not counting that time I told a door-bell-ringing person that I was a druid. :)

Rosehawk72 said...

Lets see, I think my favorite creative Steven moment was also in first grade. he told the teacher that he gets sad everytime he remembers Daddy and Mommy fighting all the time and that it's really hard. If I recall, he even managed to bring out the tears.

1. he was 18 months old when we split up.
2. We never fought.

That got him a weekly trip out of class to the school social worker and all of her fun toys and me a call from the teacher about his trauma. Ahhh kids!

Cheysu said...

I can just picture Steven whipping out some big ol croc tears. Way to up the ante!!

Ellen said...

I tried to tell Tim about this, but it seems that he's a boy and didn't find it nearly as funny and cute as I did. Just picturing Abby with her little Hobbit appetite, I love it!

Balancing Act said...

By the way - I forgot to tell you Peyton eats a big breakfast at home and gets another one at Judy's. I have to ask, "Does he look like he is starving."