Kids act in the most obnoxious and reprehensible ways. Not MY kids, of course. Other people's kids. Rugrats. Anklebiters. Brats. Future strippers. You know, other people's kids.
MY kids would never act like that.
So imagine my surprise when my Darling Little Angel, the Perfection that is Abigail, was NOT THE PERFECT CHILD while out with my sister. I'm so used to everyone's glowing reports about Abby.... "So kind, so smart, great kid etc etc) that I didn't even know what to do when I heard....... THE REPORT.
My jaw dropped open and then snapped shut like an alligator with PMS.
Honest to God, the first thought that came to my mind was "MY kid doesn't do things like that?!?!?!!?!!!!!!" That was followed closely by my second thought, "I'm going to kill her."
And so I bow my head in shame. I have become THAT parent. The one who cannot believe that their little Angel sprouted horns and tried to burn down the school gym.
(Noooo, that's not what happened. We're not in the news or anything!)
At least I can still use the "She's a toddler" excuse with Evie. Plus, she's so damn cute people's eyes glaze and fairies dance whenever she plays.