I'm Running out of Shoes

My closet is growing dustbunnies. There are just too few shoes taking up that valuable floor space to inhibit the growth of dustbunnies. Empty. Bereft. That's my closet. Though my outfits have long past the stage of true fashionable interchangability and I'm down to a just a few choice outfits for the rare occasions that I need to look decent, thats still no reason for a girl to not have a big shoe choice.

So where have my shoes gone?

They're all over, strewn somewhere on the roads and in the roadside woods along the way from the barn in Columbia to my home a few towns away.

Why are my shoes in roadside ditches?

Because I go to the barn, exit my truck. Lean against the bumper of my truck, take off my shoes, put on my riding boots, then ride, come back and get in my truck to go home.

Did I forget anything?

You betcha. I left my shoes on the bumper of my truck. Sometimes one shoe will actually manage to cling to the bumper to be found when I pull into my driveway and get out and see it.

Today I lost one sneaker. My closet is gonna be really pissed off. But the dust bunnies will be happy.

My closet now consists of:

• A fierce pair of 5 inch heels
• A pair of flip flops
• A pair of UGGS
• A pair of Hooker Boots that I bought for a Halloween party a few years ago

No, honestly, that's all I have left for shoes in my closet. What the hell do I wear to the PTO meetings?