Does Anybody have a Peanut??

Our new bill from Charter came in. I almost fell off my frikken chair and flattened the dog who was on the floor. You know that promotional price you always get? It seems as if we have grandfathered off that and are now UN-FRIKKEN-BUNDLED. And HOLY CRAP does that apparantly make a difference. No problem. I grab the phone.

Hi, this is Marissa! Can I help you?

I need a new promotional price for bundles services, because apparantly mine expired.

No problem! Let me transfer you, mmmmK?

K

This is Ahhh-lux, cahn I hehlp yu?

(This guy sounds like Andre the Giant from the Princess Bride, I kid you not. It is taking all of my will power and patience to figure out what he is saying. So much for the quick resolution.)
Hi, Alex. I need a new promotional price.

Ohhh Kaaay. Ah cahn hehlp I need yowa ahcount nyumbah

A few minutes later, he breaks in and says

Ah yowa owhn this ahcount?

I should be.

And why is thaaht?

Excuse me?

Why should youwa be owhn this ahcount?

Cuz I married the asshole, that's why.

At that point, I may have lost it and told him that I would need to speak to someone else becuase the sheer effort of being polite while simutaneoulsy trying to understand what he was saying to me was just more than I could bear at that moment.

I called David, briefly gave him the heads up, and explained that he had to make sure AGAIN that I was on the account. And if they asked Why I should be on the account, tell them it is

"Because I married the bitch, thats why!!"

I perhaps don't have the patience that I should have at all times. However, I also believe it is sound business practices to have customer service reps on the phone who are understandable, and even just a smidge nice.